Self-Love - A Preamble

I had a fantastic experience this morning. For the first time, I felt my heart open—literally—and felt warmth and deep, genuine love for myself. It taught me so much. It thrills me that I keep learning, growing, and experiencing beautiful things in my senior years.

The irony does not escape me, as today is Valentine’s Day.

Every morning, I practice a 20-minute meditation. Before I start that practice, I read a passage from a book that helps me feel grounded and gives me food for thought during my meditation. Today’s selection was about opening your heart safely.

Sometimes, things happen at the right time. Messages are given, heard, and received. Today, in my state of being, I was ready to receive this message. It felt soft, gentle, and unquestionable.

The physical sensation was a gentle relaxation in my chest and a feeling that my heart was enlarging and opening. I felt a warming in my chest. In my mind’s eye, I could see my wonderful heart blossoming.

And the thoughts flooded in; it was like an epiphany. I understood that it was safe to open my heart to love myself and that I could do it because I had discovered a new truth. So, it became a very personal experience.

The Many Loops of Loving Yourself

From birth, at least in my experience, we are taught not to love ourselves in many ways. Unfortunately, so many life lessons teach us that we fall short—even lessons taught to us by well-meaning people.

Hurting and discouraging experiences happen. Sadly, we have many kicks up the growth ladder of life.

Our relationships may have made our emotions and feelings about love feel very loopy. We have crushes, fall in love, and fall out of love, and we learn to nurse our hurt feelings brought about by a look, words, or action of another.

Grief can have a crushing effect on our hearts and our ability to feel love.

We often get messages that we need to improve in some way. Over time, we internalize others’ actions or opinions of ourselves to be our ‘truth.’ It starts to feel like a heavy burden, and our minds loop in and out of self-love.

Were any of us raised to believe we are perfect just as we are? Were we taught to feel our hearts and feel pure love for ourselves? How can we love others if we don’t know how to love ourselves? Do we feel safe to love?

I have not. I have been very guarded for a good reason. Self-protection.

Today, I learned I could keep my heart safe while learning to love myself.

This is a New Ladder for Me to Climb

I found the following quote from the article “Are You Ready to Live a Heart-Centered Life?” on the site Always Well Within, which describes the phrase " heart-centered."

“It can mean electing love and compassion as the guiding principles of your life.  Or it can mean living in alignment with your “true” self - your values, calling, experiential wisdom, intelligence, intuition, instinct, and the messages you receive from your body.” Sandra Pawula

This gives me food for thought. Although it frequently uses the word ‘your’, it seems other-driven. What I experienced this morning was an inner, personal experience that I find difficult to put into words.

I learned I had a safe place in me that was certainly a physical place - the area of my heart. But it was also a new mental paradigm and an emotional feeling like none I had ever had.

I realized that I could and did genuinely love myself. I wish I had been taught this much, much earlier.

My experience of loving myself did not depend on anyone else; it was separate from whatever else was happening in my life. The externals of my life did not matter—not my age, weight, social or financial status, where I lived, or the politics of the day.

It was just a simple discovery that I could experience at any time. It was safe to love myself, and I could keep my heart safe and secure.

So, What are the Steps to Follow?

Mary Schnorrenburg wrote a blog on her site, Living a Heart-Centered Life: “What is Heart-Centered Living, and Why is it Important?”. She writes:

“Place one hand on your heart; this immediately draws your attention there. Breathe for the next 5 minutes into the front of your heart and out the back of your heart. Carry on breathing in lightness and exhaling heaviness. Simple. Observe any sensations and emotions that arise.”

If you want more information, you may wish to check out this site - Centre for Mindfulness Studies and the blog: “How to Open Your Heart.”

This morning, I felt particularly positive and good about my world. I had just peddled on my indoor exercise bike and settled in for my meditation practice. I had an excellent mindset to read my reading and be open to the message. I have also been doing much personal, healing work.

I had heard of my physical heart centre but had just begun to access it. Since I have had this experience, I want to have many more until it becomes an easy habit to access and practice.

So … I was sitting in my usual meditation spot and allowing my thoughts to flow. My mind’s eye went to the heart area of my chest, and I immediately felt my heart opening and warming. And I allowed my thoughts to flow freely.

The epiphany came when I realized I could open my heart to my love. I could feel that opening as a physical experience. It was warm and red and liquid and comforting. It was expansion.

I could do this safely. Nobody could hurt me when I did this, and anybody’s criticism would disappear. My inner critic could not break this experience.

I felt safe and loved.

Interestingly, an image from Twitter came to mind, along with a lesson that there had to be mud to allow the lotus blossom to grow and bloom. The story of my life?

What Are the Benefits of Opening My Heart to Feel Love for Myself?

It seems so obvious now, but I am Love. I have been writing that affirmation for days and days now, and that practice opened me up to this experience.

I also now know this is an important lesson in my life. It is essential that I feel and know love for myself - thoroughly and deeply. It was my birthright that was absconded by others.

From here, my life will improve. Knowing that I love myself, I can make better, heart-centred decisions. Love can’t help but shine its light outwards to the world. So, my relationships will improve, and my life will improve.

There is a feeling of lightness and expansion and healing. And the world is now a better place.

Are you ready to feel your heart’s inherent love for you?

A Challenge For You:

1. Sit comfortably in a quiet, safe place where you will not be interrupted. Make sure you have visited the restroom first. Drink some water, moisturize your lips and place a light blanket over your lap.

2. Allow your body to relax and feel comfortable where you are. Gently close your eyes.

3. Further relax your body, especially your face, neck, back, arms and shoulders.

4. Lightly focus some of your attention on your breathing, even as you rest your mind’s eye on the middle of your chest. Think of the words warmth, opening, liquid, and expansion.

5. Gently notice any sensations and thoughts.

6. Remember, your inner critic has gone to another room to play with the cat.

7. Return to this practice again and again.

8. You are amazing!

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