My Meditation Practice Journey - A Preamble

There was a time when I was pushed and pulled in many directions, and I didn’t know who I was. I felt untethered and yet chained. My meditation practice saved me.

Although it would take me decades, I was in the process of freeing myself from an abusive relationship. However, I had come a long way. Unfortunately, my self-esteem and sense of positive self-worth were still very low.

I was a single parent and had incredible financial pressures.

I was also a high school teacher. The environment in a high school is demanding. I was pulled in many directions. I was exhausted physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

I wanted to know who I was—deep inside. I wanted a better life and was searching for ways to pick up pieces of myself.

I started learning about meditation and practicing it. It has become one of the foundations of my health and life. No exaggeration—it helped save me.

What Did I Do?

I am much more alert in the mornings. I was getting up earlier to get my Morning Pages in - my journalling practice. I blogged about journaling here: “Journaling Through Loops to Step Up Ladders.” So, what would adding more time to my morning routine do? I was determined to see my practice through.

I decided to sit cross-legged. That seemed important to me. I also determined it had to be the first thing in the morning before doubts and other things would get in the way.

So, I would get up and do a shortened version of my morning ablutions. Then, I would climb back into my bed with pillows behind my back and blankets over my lap. Finally, I would close my eyes and sit still for ten minutes. And I did my practice every morning.

It was not easy. My legs were in extreme pain. I felt constricted in my breathing. It was hard to judge the time. And the idea of ‘no thought’ I had read about seemed impossible. But I was determined.

Eventually, there was less pain. I started using a timer. I became less anxious about breathing and made small steps - learning to go with the flow. And I started wanting to add to my time - in five-minute increments.

The Benefits Were Tangible

Almost immediately, I felt the benefits. Maybe, initially, it was a good feeling to complete my practice session that morning. And it felt good to notice less pain as my legs loosened and stretched.

Only some sessions were easy, and I abandoned some sessions out of frustration. There were also some days I did not carry through with my practice.

But the main benefits were feeling lighter, calmer, and clearer-headed. My day just went better when I did my meditation session.

I referred to it as my meditation practice because I did not believe I was meditating. There were just too many thoughts and feelings swirling around. Unfortunately, I still need to get to the states I read about in my research. Oh well.

Meditation Practice Can Loosen the Loops

I am often astonished by how many decisions I must make daily. I have seen numbers on that, which blows my mind. And back then, there were a lot of very close loops in my thinking. I was physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually wound up so tight that I was twisted and bent out of shape.

I was living anything but an intentional, purposeful and joyful life. I could not see a path to a different way of living. I knew I wanted it, and there had to be a way.

Thank heavens, I started making decisions to get myself out of those loops.

With my meditation practice, my brain calmed down. When chronically stressed, we have hormones that get to toxic levels. They are in our brains and the fibres of our bodies.

When our brains swim in ultra-high levels of toxic chemicals, we cannot think straight. This is because the emotional centres of our brains are in a hyper-arousal state. The thinking part of our brains—the problem-solving aspect of our brains—is dysfunctional.

I Laddered Up

I am grateful for deciding to start my practice and for my determination to continue it—even though it was sometimes tricky. I felt immediate benefits: a sense of calm and accomplishment, a clear-headedness and lightness in my body.

My life did not change drastically or all at once. But, I did start to be less reactive. I did start to make better decisions. Things became less of a blur. And my self-esteem and self-worth started to rise.

I added positive things to my life and more readily let go of negative thoughts, feelings, and experiences.

I was, am, and will always be a work in progress. However, my meditation practice is a reliable tool in my toolbox that stays well-oiled when I use it every day.

And I worry less about how I carry out my practice. It was more important that I do it every day. Framing it as a practice helps me keep it up.

So, How Does One Meditate?

Any way that makes sense to you.

There are so many resources on the whys and hows of meditation—books, courses, YouTube videos, and online resources. In addition, there are great teachers to help you learn.

Here are three sites that could help you.

How To Meditate - from Mindful.org. This is a great resource.

MEDITATION 101: TECHNIQUES, BENEFITS, AND A BEGINNER’S HOW-TO - from Gaiam.

Meditation for Beginners: 20 Practical Tips for Understanding the Mind - from ZenHabits.

Here is what I have learned:

• KNOW that meditation practice will have considerable benefits in your life.

• Make a firm decision to practice daily.

• Know that each session is very different and has different ‘flavours.’

• Know there will be bumps in your journey.

• It helps to think of it as a practice, a journey, not a destination.

• Ensure your bladder is empty, drink water and moisturize your lips.

• Find a quiet spot and a comfortable position. I now meditate on my couch. I like the feeling of my back being supported. I have a special wool mat I use only for meditation, and I sit cross-legged.

• I like to have a blanket over my lap.

• I use a timer - set for 20 minutes.

• I close my eyes and allow my body to settle down, and I know my thoughts will follow, and so will my breath.

• I practice patience. :)

• I allow thoughts to come and go.

• It is a practice of acceptance of what is.

A Challenge For You:

1. Practice Meditation.

2. Reap the Benefits.

3. Celebrate.

4. You are amazing!

Please consider sharing a link to this blog or site with people you know who could use it and pass it on to others. Also, please share your thoughts with me. And … I would be appreciative of a coffee and croissant.

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